Reflections on Futility

This is part two of the challenge that Karen presented members of the Community team with. 

“Reflect upon futility.  There’s a whole world full of fences and not many people are wanting to take them down – metaphorically and literally.”

Reflections

What fences do I still have around my heart and what is preventing me from pulling these down?

When I reflected upon this I immediately saw a picture of a twisted, tangled mess of barbed wire around my heart – some old and rusty strands tangled in with others which were relatively new.  Some barbs I have been holding onto since childhood while others have recently been tangled into the mess of twisted confusion, fear and doubt.  First I must cut away the newer fences in order to access the older more painful barbs some of which dig into my heart causing it to bleed.  But true healing can only begin when I have the courage to grab the pliars and gently cut away and untangle the barbs one layer at a time, allowing the scratches and deeper wounds to heal slowly and completely.  If I were to pull fiercely at the tangled mess I would in all likelihood create great pain and distress.  The more loving approach is to remove the barbs slowly and completely, one at a time.  It is a slow process which requires patience, compassion and self-love without judgement.  Sometimes it will all seem too much for me and I will, and have, backed away in fear; but fear prevents me from moving forward so I must learn to trust and step into the fear having faith that God is guiding me in this process and helping me as much as I will allow Him to do so.  If I can apply this same process to the fences of the world I will come to understand that true change at a soul level is governed by love and truth and happens in stages – one step at a time.  I must be patient and be willing to remove my own fences, the barriers that I have to being more loving in my life.  I must learn to BE the change I want to see in the world as Ghandi taught and operate quietly in the background seeking neither approval nor recognition, but merely desiring to serve my brothers and sisters in love and truth and humility. I must remember that we are all on a unique journey and that God waits patiently for us to come to Him and never imposes His will upon us.  I must strive to become more God-like, anything else now seem futile.

Am I fully engaged in my passions and desires?

The short answer is NO and I can justify this until the cows come home but the truth is that I am not fully engaging my passions and desires because of fear – fear of making a mistake, fear of judgement, fear of condemnation, fear of being different.  But I am slowly allowing these passions and desires to gestate within my soul and feel that many are now preparing to be birthed in all of their glory and passion and in a way that will allow me to lovingly serve others and God using the gifts that He has given me.  I am now tentatively taking the first steps of desire, exploring my own soul, making mistakes and learning from these and then trying again in a more loving way.  I am finally beginning to learn what it means to allow God to teach me, and desiring to learn and uncover and grow these gifts that God has given me.

Do I want to develop my passions and desires in harmony with God’s Laws, Love and Truth and open my soul to learning from God?

Absolutely!  I have tried the other way – the path of self-reliance – the path of arrogance, wanting approval and recognition and it does not work – it is not sustainable because it is not loving either to myself or to others so now I find myself turning to God and wanting to learn to live God’s way, wanting to learn to love – myself and others.

Reflections on some Bible passage

1 John 2:15-17 …if any man love the world the love of the Father is not in him …

If I place greater priority upon the creation rather than the Creator I automatically limit myself.  This has been my path in the past – a path of self-reliance, not involving God much in the process and not trusting that God is a God if love and it has been a very limiting and debilitating path.  I am now choosing the path of God-reliance which being much harder is infinitely more rewarding.

1 Corinthians 9:19-23 … I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view … I didn’t just want to talk about it, I wanted to be in on it …

When I let go of judgement and allow myself to experience things from a different perspective it will open my soul to new experiences and new truths.  I am only just beginning to understand this.  There have been so many times in my past when God has provided me with opportunities to enter the world of another and experience things from their point of view but my own arrogance and fear has prevented me from doing this – I chose self-reliance and self-justification over the opportunities that God was giving me and in so doing I have limited my growth and created more pain in my soul and the souls of others, the full force of which I must now feel and be repentant about if I am to truly heal my own soul and help to open the souls of others whom I have harmed to the potential of healing as well. Why then do I now expect that now that I have got it – at least intellectually – that others should get it as well.  This is the height of arrogance and exposes in me great errors uncovering the fears that I have been trying to avoid for most of my life – the fear of being different, fear of rejection, fear of condemnation, fear of judgement, fear of ridicule.  I want to hide and go unnoticed.  But hiding in fear does not allow me to enter a different world and consider a different perspective; it limits my growth and my potential and prevents God from teaching me in a loving way.

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There is still so much that I need to learn and chief amongst these is Humility.  I am still very much wanting to control everything about my life and still not trusting that God actually knows everything about me already and if I let go of my arrogance and pride then God will be able to teach me.  Arrogance and pride are such futile emotions and achieve nothing positive, so why then do I still guard them so closely?

Thank you Karen for givine me this opportunity to reflect more deeply upon the fences of my soul and the futile nature of the life I have been living for I realize now that anything other than true God-reliance is futile and limiting and I want to learn to be my true self, to be all that God created me to be - whatever that might be.  Please God, teach me to be truly Humble.

with love

Linda 

Reflections on Desire

  I knew it had been some time since I had last posted but didnt realize just how long.  I guess the main reason is that in the past few months I have been in a lot of resistance to some pretty big emotions that have been coming up for me.  One of these has been on desire.  I am still finding it difficult to determine what my true soul desires are and have been experementing wtih stepping into desire without addiction.  One way that is helping me to do this is belonging to some of the Learning Teams of the God's Way of Love Organization.  Perhaps the one I have the greatest afinity with at the monent is the Community Team.  Recently our Team Leader, Karen, sent out some information that was shared at a Leaders meeting and asked us to reflect upon this statement from Jesus.  I have posted my reply below.  I found that this task set by Karen brought up a lot for me and soon (I promise) I will post the second part of my reflections.  I hope that this post helps you to come up with your own reflections and perhaps gain a deeper insight into yout own soul as well.                                                                                                                                            

“There are so many things you can be passionate about; but what we’ve got to do is we’ve got to feel the passion, and once we feel that passion and engage it … say to your whole team ‘next week we are going to do this because I’m passionate about it, I’m doing it’.  And do it because you like to do it. You want to give the service to others; but do it because you love doing it.  Don’t do it if you don’t love doing it”.   Jesus at a Team Leaders meeting.

 Reflection    

What does this statement bring up for me?

Q.1.       What am I really passionate about in my life right now?

A.     Understanding God’s Truth and Love and learning to become more loving in every aspect of my life.

B.     Learning about God’s environment and the gifts She has given us and learning how to live in harmony with God’s environment.

C.     Learning how to be of service to others in a loving way while letting go of demand and addiction.

D.     Learning to communicate through the written word.

Q.2.       How am I living or demonstrating that passion in my life right now?

A.     Listening to and learning from Jesus and Mary in multiple formats (DVDs, book club, mediumship, The Padgett Messages, The Judas Messages, Interviews).  Talking to God daily and aiming to have a greater connection with God and my guides.  Striving to be humble to all of my emotions.  Learning to understand my real self – feeling my errors and recognizing unloving behaviour in myself (not always at the time of the error but often upon later reflection).  Striving to put real love into practice in my daily life (not always successfully).  Regular reflection upon my soul’s condition and desires and how love and error are evident in my life and taking steps to rectify the error.

B.     Learning to grow things (veggies, herbs, trees) and investigating different plants and garden formats and layouts and desiring to create God’s garden at home through diversity and creating eco systems and habitats for all of God’s creatures (a project as yet in its infancy).  Learning from Permaculture tapes and lectures and researching methods of caring for the environment in a sustainable way.

C.     Writing a blog about my journey towards love helps me to overcome my fear of judgement and condemnation.  Producing a booklet that may be of service to those who are nearing death and the transition into spirit. Stepping into the desire to spend time with people who are dying as an act of love and service and learning to serve them as they desire to be served and not as I think they should be served.  Compiling the written teachings of Jesus into booklet format with the aim of making this freely available to anyone who wishes a copy. Growing my desire to learn about loving governance and correction.  Being a member of the Community Team.  Picking up rubbish as I pass it and aiming to leave public places more beautiful than when I got there.

D.     Most of the points for C as well as investigating creative writing courses with a view to participate in such.

                                                                 

Q.3.       What prevents me from fully engaging that passion and desire right now?  What am I afraid of?

For all of the above the answer is fear – fear of judgement is perhaps the biggest one along with fear of making a mistake.  Fear of being different / fear of being ostracized / fear of wasting my time and money / fear that I will not like or be disappointed with the outcome / fear of harming people or the environment in the process / fear of my physical limitations and not being able to complete the project or overcome these limitations in the process / fear of being ridiculed.

Q.4.       Why does this cause fear?

For all of the above – past experience has shown me that I am not allowed to be different – I am not allowed to be myself, I must conform or I will be punished.  If I follow any desire which is at odds with the group collective I will trigger fear / doubt / confusion / inadequacy / inferiority in others and in order to avoid these feelings they retaliate with power and force to make me feel small and doubt myself – and I believe them!  I believe that I am unworthy of following my desires , of even having my own desires which may not be in harmony with the group collective and when I doubt myself I am weak and powerless and easy to control.

As a result of these false beliefs I have spent a lifetime manipulating myself and modifying my desires in order to please others and avoid the pain of judgement / condemnation / criticism to the point of now being unsure of what MY true desires and passions are.  I am in the process of discovering the truth of my own desires and my true self and I find a growing desire inside of myself to know my real self and so I find myself gingerly testing the waters of desire, sometimes falling flat on my face in shame and confusion.  The challenge however, is to pick myself up at these times , feel into the truth of the situation and try again.  If I give up every time I ‘fail’ at something or when my desire brings pain instead of pleasure I will never know my real self.

So now I am learning to ask myself every time I ‘fail’ “where was I out of harmony with love and truth in this instance?  What is the error in me that caused this pain?”  If I allow myself to feel into the truth of this situation, and am humble to my emotions, the next time I step into this desire the results will be different from the previous experience and I will soon uncover my real passions and desires.  But I must be willing to keep experimenting with my desires and be open to learning from God.

There is still much that I have to learn about myself and about God'd Love and Truth but each day is a journey towards love and it is my greatest desire to know God and know myself.  I hope that by sharing in this journey with me you too might glean something benificial for your own journey towards Love.

With much love

Linda

Soul Longings

Soul Longings

When I open my heart then I can see

The soul of the person looking back at me

The pain that is hidden behind their eyes

And covered over by so many lies.

What hidden truths do they avoid

In order to somehow fill the void

Created by anger, fear and pride

And all the hurt they carry inside?

Do I really want to know their soul,

To share their pain, their hand to hold?

Or am I too afraid to see

My own pain being reflected back at me?

Open my heart and soul I pray

That I might somehow find the right words to say

Words of comfort, love and truth

That will enable each one to revisit their youth

To find the secrets hidden there

And have the courage their souls to bare.

For it is my soul you need to know

Then together into the unknown we can go

For only my soul can reveal

The hidden potential that is real.

Perhaps one day you too will see

The soul of the person looking back at thee

Longing to be known and to be loved

Longing to be with our Father above.

So open my heart and soul I pray

Soften my soul, teach me to play.

Teach me to be humble, teach me to love

So that I might receive blessings from above.

Linda Munster
20.06.12

Eternal Benefits of a Relationship with God

I was reading Mary’s Blog recently and in it she asked us to consider the Eternal Benefits of a Relationship with God and this really struck a chord with me.  Why had I not considered this before?  I know that the real me is my soul, the feminine expression of our complete soul.  I know that life continues after the shedding of the physical body and it is then that our real and potentially eternal journey begins. I know that God is t he Great Over Soul of the Universe and the only way to connect with Her is on a soul to Soul basis.  So why then had it not occurred to me to consider the Eternal benefits of a relationship with God before?

This is very timely for me to reflect upon as I have recently been talking to my children (now grown) about this journey I am on and my developing relationship with God, the most important relationship in my life.  It is confronting for them to hear me say this as, like so many others, they see my relationship with their father, my husband and my soulmate, as the most important relationship in my life and I have not yet found the right way to explain this relationship I have with God and why it is so important. And now that Mary has raised it I can see that the Eternal benefits of a relationship with God is really the key isn’t it?

With God I am always safe. He will guide me and show me the best way forward and will never tire of my questions nor get impatient with me when I don’t ‘get it’ or need to be shown several different ways before I truly understand.

Anything I want to know He can teach me, from the most basic questions about myself to the most complex questions about life, the universe, the soul and His qualities and attributes and He will never get impatient with me or judge me for asking ‘silly’ questions.  He will never need to make me feel stupid or inferior in order to make Himself seem superior or smarter.  No Matter how much I think I know there is always more to learn and God is the only Being who knows everything there is to know about anything at all.

I will never be alone even if I can’t see or physically feel anyone else with me I know that God is always there and that He delights in my company and wants to be with me even when I am feeling low or unlovable He will always be there waiting for me to let Him in and allow Him to love me.  And He sends me guides and guardians who I can more easily connect to and who are only too willing to help me and be my friend and they too are always there when I need them.

I will always be loved and as I open my soul more and more to this Love I will KNOW that I am loved and as a result of this great Love in my soul I will want to share my love with each and every one of my brothers and sisters both mortal and spirit.

God will always support me to follow my passions and desires and when these are out of harmony with love He will gently show me this and help me to recognize the truth without judgement or expectation.

He is my greatest cheer leader and my biggest fan and will always support me in everything I do even if those things are out of harmony with love and truth because He honors my free will and He knows that His Laws will gently bring me back into harmony with Love and Truth.

He will always provide for me no matter where I am, all I have to do is ask with love, humility and sincerity and it will be given to me and if at times my prayers seem not to be answered I know that it is because I am out of harmony with Love and Truth and God’s Laws will show me this as long as I am willing to see the truth.

With God Life and Love are an eternal progression, I will never stagnate or be bored, there will always be new things to learn about myself, about Love and Truth and about the Universe.  With God life is exciting.

A relationship with God brings me great joy and as I grow in Love and Truth the level of joy I feel in my life grows until eventually I will experience a life of total bliss in every moment.  Imagine it!  Every minute of every day filled with Bliss and joy – who wouldn’t want that?

When I make God a central part of my life I can also progress in love towards my soulmate and eventually come to know my complete soul, my true self, then life really gets interesting (or so I have been told!)

I am sure there are many more benefits to an Eternal Relationship with God but for now this is all I can come up with.  Even so, it provides some pretty awesome reasons to want to have an Eternal Relationship with our Heavenly Parent don’t you think? 

Open My Heart and Soul I Pray

This is a poem that I wrote a little while ago but as I re-read it now I realize that it is just as relevant now as I struggle to face the truth of the errors in my soul which prevent God's Love from entering me. I hope it helps.
love
Linda

Open my heart and soul I pray

Feeling angry, feeling sad

Feeling as though my whole life

I have been bad

Feeling lonely, feeling confused

Hating feeling that through my life

I have been abused

Feeling lost, feeling afraid

Not wanting to visit these places

Where my darkest secrets have been laid

Longing for guidance, longing for love

Will anyone answer my call

From Heaven above?

Pain in my body showing me truth

Resisting the messages of love

Preferring to remain aloof

Will I ever learn to let go and trust

That God’s ways are perfect

And surrender I must?

Open my heart and soul I pray

Help me face those hidden truths

That rack my soul

And keep Your Love at bay.

Open my heart and soul I pray

Give me courage to face the truth

Open my heart and my soul I pray

Teach me to surrender to Your way

Linda Munster

25.03.11

Clouds

I wrote this a little while ago but now that I re-read it I realize that it is as relevant today as it was then. I am still struggling with a deep causal emotion that I have been slowly working through over the past few months.  How little I understand about God and Her /Divine Love.  I want this to change!  I pray for the courage and the willingness to step deeply and completly into my fear and grief so that I might fully let go of all of my errors and and allow God's healing Love in.

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Clouds are rolling in across the valley floor now, floating softly through the air and forming a curtain of mist disguising the ridges behind them and temporarily changing the landscape.  But they do not sit still as they softly glide by, creating new vistas with every change as they rise up to meet the thicker band of cloud that is sitting atop the mountain and blocking it from view. 

It is darker now in the valley, grey and dull, but above the clouds a light shines through and a tiny speck of blue reminds me that nothing in God’s universe is permanent and that change is inevitable, even welcomed. 

So why then do I hold on so tightly to the things that cause me pain, not trusting this process, having no faith in the potential gain?  And yet right before me a transformation is taking place as soft clouds roll through the valley and lift gently over the mountains with such effortless ease and I am wondering what prevents me from gliding through this process of transformation of the soul?  What prevents me from embracing the changes in my soul, from grasping hold of those glimmers of light that have the power to lift me from the valley of despair and carry me over the mountains of doubt and fear into God’s loving embrace?  Why do I hold so tightly to the errors that cause me pain and keep me anchored to the valley floor?

As I silently observe God’s gifts unfolding across the sky I am greeted by a soft breeze, cool and fresh, lifting the clouds out of the valley so that they might merge with the vast sky and I can’t help but wonder what truth this is revealing to me?  Will God’s Love carry me out of my despair and beyond the restraints of my own soul to new heights where anything is possible?  Do I trust that this is possible?  Have I not already experienced the joy of soaring high on God’s Divine Love?  Why then do I still not trust this process unconditionally? What fear keeps me from relinquishing control to the Supreme Commander and allowing His Love and Laws to lead me where I need to go?

There is as yet so much that I still have to discover about my own soul, so many pains to feel and release and so much joy to experience.  I pray that with God’s help I will learn to fully embrace this process and to rejoice in the release of each error so that I might allow my soul to lift gently out of the valley of despair and learn to soar high upon the wings of God’s Love from where anything is possible and love and truth rule the day.

with love

Linda

Love is a gift

This is something that I have been reflecting upon a lot lately.  Hope it helps.

Love is a gift and it should be given freely.

Most people would agree with this statement, I agree with this statement!  The problem is that in all of the relationships that I have had in my life this has not been the case.  This is a harsh reality to face but it is nevertheless the truth.

As I continue to open my heart and soul to God’s Love and Truth I am coming to realize that every relationship that I have had in my life, including my soulmate relationship, has had conditions attached to it, addictions that I need to have met, unloving demands placed upon the recipient of this so-called love.  I ‘love’ you so you must love me back. I ‘love’ you so you must provide for me and keep me safe. I ‘love’ you so that you will be my friend etc. But this is NOT love, it is demand couched in unloving expectations and it is not a gift at all.  A gift should be freely offered without expectation or demand.

The Oxford Dictionary defines Gift as “the voluntary transfer of property without compensation”.  The trouble is that I am beginning to realize that I have given very little in my life as a true gift, I have always wanted something in return – love, recognition, acknowledgement, a gift in return, and this is not true giving, it is not love, it is demand born out of addiction.   How shocking it is to recognize this truth about myself! 

The truth is that I do not yet know how to truly love as God intended us to love – freely and without demand or expectation.

So how do I get to this place of being able to give freely and to love freely without demand or expectation? 

I am coming to realize that the only way to do this effectively is with God.  By gradually opening my heart and soul to God’s Truth, the errors in my soul can leave me and God’s Love can take their place.  And this process requires true humility, something that I am still struggling with and I realize that I do not yet really understand love. I do not yet know how to love unconditionally. I do not yet know how to give myself freely, from the heart without expectation or demand, and this is the biggest barrier that I face in my soulmate relationship, in all of my relationships.

 I wish that I could write that I finally understand love and that I am at last truly able to love unconditionally, but the truth is that I am only just beginning to understand love and in order to grow in love I must turn to God and ask Him to show we the truth of the errors in my soul that prevent love from blossoming there.  I must somehow find the courage to let go of all my old false beliefs around love and allow God to show me the truth.  I must be willing to learn to love God and myself first so that I can love others as God intended – freely and without expectation or demand.  And truthfully, right now I am struggling with this.  I am finding it difficult to let God love me the way She wants to, completely and freely, for God can only love me as much as I am willing to allow that love in.  I am struggling to accept that in order to love I must fully let go, for it is only in the letting go that love can truly blossom.

Please God, give me the courage and the willingness to let go of all of my false beliefs and expectations around love so that real love might fill my soul and I might learn to love freely and unconditionally in return.

with love

Linda

Addictions, personal responsibility and getting to know the real me

From my journal

I am struggling to allow myself to feel into the cause of my shoulder pain and I pray for God’s continued guidance and assistance, but right now I am feeling a bit numb.   

This morning I find myself alone again and I am feeling lost.  I am beginning to open up my soul to the truth of my relationship with John, my soulmate, and I don’t like what I see!  So many addictions have been at play on both parts.  For my part I know that I am addicted to the security that this relationship offers; to the idea of John, my soulmate and to the desire, the hope of one day having a real soul to soul relationship, if I can only hang on long enough!  I want him to change and I have projected a LOT if demand upon him; I want him to make my life better and I have projected a LOT of neediness upon him; I want things to be done my way and I project anger when they are not; I feel helpless, powerless and overwhelmed most of the time and I need him to reassure and support me; I want to avoid the hard stuff, I want to run and hide when things get difficult! 

And now I find myself finally beginning to open up to the responsibility for myself on all levels and I am hugely confronted by the task at hand.  I want to fall back into old patterns of running and hiding.  I hold onto the error of wanting, no needing to please others, especially my mother in the hope that she will finally approve of me; and in this whole process I am sacrificing myself, sacrificing love.  I know this now but the challenge of changing old habits, of letting go of addictions is difficult and for the first time in my life I am beginning to feel some empathy for those who suffer from physical addictions – drugs, alcohol, tobacco, food.  For the first time in my life I am beginning to understand what drives these addictions and why people feel they need to escape from reality. 

We have all been escaping from the reality of our true selves, our soul, for most of our lives.  We have been hiding behind our façade selves, the self we have created in order to survive our environment and hide our pain, the mask we put on in order to make ourselves more presentable, more acceptable to the world.  The trouble is that when we begin to allow ourselves to awaken to this truth, the façade is no longer acceptable to the real self and so begins a process of awakening and it is, at first anyway, a painful process as we begin to allow ourselves to open up to the truth of our reality one little piece at a time.

It feels like I am now constructing this giant jigsaw puzzle and I really have no idea what the pieces look like, but as I find the courage to delve deeper into the truth of my existence, face the damage in my soul and take full responsibility for my soul condition then, bit by bit, God’s Love begins to reveal the hidden pieces of my true self, my soul and a new picture is created.  One based upon love and truth instead of façade, illusion and pretense and these pieces are unlike anything I have seen or experienced before.  And I now find myself in a place where I am unwilling to compromise this process because I am excited by the little bits that are being revealed and the way they now play out in my life and I want to know what the whole picture looks like – I want to know the real me, the me that God created and who She alone sees.  And so I find myself at a crossroads knowing which way I want to go but wondering if I really have the courage to walk a different path, a path supported by God and my Celestial Guides but as yet still at odds with the world in general and my family’s view of how my life should be. 

I have no idea what lies ahead, I can not yet see the big picture for mostly I am still fumbling and stuck on working out this one tiny part that I am currently working on.  I just know that I can not continue in the old patterns and addictions of the past – I want more!  I want to know the real me.  I want to discover what my soul is passionate about, the things that bring me and others joy. I want to live a life of passion and desire in all aspects of my life.  I want to learn how to truly live and laugh and love – every day, not just occasionally but every day. 

Dare I hope that this is possible for me?  Do I really have the courage to confront each and every one of my own addictions and face up to and own the truth of their creation within me? I honestly do not know, but I do know that I have to try and that with God’s help anything is possible, even the transformation of a dark and broken soul. 

My hope, my prayer, is that as I begin to heal my soul and erase the dark corners of my hidden self, my real self, I will begin to grow in love and my soul will begin to shine making it irresistible to the other half of me, my soulmate and that together we will discover our true passions and desires, our true purpose in life, our hidden talents and our uniqueness so that we may serve the world through love and desire and in so doing experience a joy and bliss in every moment that as yet we find difficult to conceive of, yet alone imagine the possibilities of. 

With God anything is possible, even the recreation of a lost and broken soul.

Linda

11.04.2012

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I wrote this poem a while ago but it fits well with what I am currently experiencding so I have included it here

Broken

Lost little pieces of my soul

Fractured,

Fragmented,

No longer whole.

Overwhelmed and confused

Doubting God’s loving plan

Wanting to heal

Not sure if I can.

Who am I?  I no longer know

Trying to piece together

The little broken bits of my soul.

Praying for guidance

For the courage to see

How these little broken bits

Come together to form me.

But the pieces are small

Shattered and scattered

Making no sense at all.

How do I mend my broken soul

When pain and anguish have taken their toll?

Who will guide me?

Whom do I trust?

For God’s Mercy and Love

My soul does lust!

But it seems that God is far away

From this confused, lonely child

Who has lost her way.

Dare I ask for help,

For guidance from above?

Will God hear my plea

And fill my soul with love?

Lost little pieces of my broken soul

Gradually being recovered through faith and trust

And tenderly restored with love and truth.

Through anger, fear and grief I find

The lost little pieces of my broken soul

Coming together to make me whole.

Guided by faith and trust and love

I find God’s Grace and Mercy

Gradually healing my broken soul.

How can I thank You

For Your patience and understanding

For Your soft, gently touch,

For never being demanding?

You patiently wait for me

To have the courage and willingness to see

That I alone can find my way

Through the broken pieces

And the foggy haze

To the truth of my broken soul

Before You can begin to make me whole.

Your love is waiting for each of us

To have the courage to learn to trust

To face the secrets of our youth

And find the willingness to face the truth.

Your love does transform my broken soul

Healing my pain, making me whole.

Linda Munster

23.05.11

The Power of Love and Truth

The Power of Love and Truth

It has been some time since I posted anything here and I guess that I could easily come up with a dozen different excuses, but the truth is that I have been feeling into some fear around these postings especially now that I am aware that some of my family members occasionally follow my posts.  Funny isn’t it how easy it is to share your innermost thoughts and feelings when you feel you are under the veil of secrecy and how much more difficult that becomes when you feel ‘exposed’! 

So here I am stepping fully into the light and allowing the Law of Attraction to show me what I still need to learn and to feel.  So, over the coming weeks I will be posting much more honestly about my experiences over the past few months and allowing myself to feel whatever fear/grief/anger/shame might arise as a result of stepping more fully into truth.

I have recently returned from an amazing week at Uralla, just south of Armidale where I stayed with my beautiful friend Carina. I am noticing how much easier my life flows when I allow myself to follow my passions and desires.  I have had an interest (maybe even a passion) around Raw Food for some time but have not been allowing myself to fully engage in that.  There is always an excuse – it’s too fiddly, you have to think ahead, unsure of the menus and flavors – the list could go on but the truth is that I was avoiding a desire out of a feeling of unworthiness and a lack of self love.  Anyway, when I heard that Susan was running a Raw Food day at Kyabra I decide to attend, packed my bags and headed south for a week.  I have also had a desire to learn more about mediumship and to seek some guidance around developing my mediumship ability so I stayed for the mediumship discussion on the following Thursday.

A lot happened in this week – the weather was perfect – the Raw Food day was totally inspiring – I explored the area and discovered some beautiful spots around the area where I could be close to God – I caught up with some beautiful friends and met some amazing people – I learnt a bit about mediumship and about myself and I learnt more about the power of love and truth and this is what I really want to share with you.

On Wednesday night I had dinner with Dave and Alexis at their place and it was lovely to get to know them both a little better.  In the course of conversation after dinner Dave channeled his aunt who said that I had a group of dark spirits with me waiting for the opportunity to attack.  I felt into the truth of that and felt that my sister was with them.  Both Dave and Alexis are very strong mediums and they confirmed this for me.  Kathy has been in spirit for just about four years and I had felt that she was in quite a dark condition.  What transpired over the course of the next two to three hours was truly amazing. 

Alexis channeled the spirits and Dave spoke to them while I felt into what was happening and prayed for Divine Love.  It took a while but eventually a group of these spirits went with their celestial guides but my sister remained, angry, confused and adamant that the Catholic way was the only way.  At some point the roles change with Dave channeling Kathy and Alexis talking to her while I continued to try to feel what was going on and praying for Divine Love. 

Both of the boys could feel the pain in her body and her fear and confusion, I gave a brief outline of her medical history and of the cancer she suffered when she was thirteen years old.  She confirmed that she has been feeling this fear in her gut since she was a girl and she spoke a little about her experiences during the chemo and radium therapy and the ongoing effects of that.  What struck me about this whole process was how compassionate and patient both Dave and Alexis were and how much love I felt in the room. For the first time I began to understand what she had been through, not just when she was thirteen but over the many near death experiences that she endured throughout her life (six in all).  Alexis was very gentle in the way he introduced the Truth to Kathy and eventually she began to open up to the Truth, not only of what had happened to her but of what she was now doing to me by trying to control me and ‘correct’ my behaviour.  As she allowed herself to feel even a little Alexis could then point out that things had changed, she could see and feel the difference in her spirit body, but she was still very afraid and quite angry.  Eventually a shift occurred, maybe it was the love she began to feel from me, maybe it was the love and compassion she could feel from the boys, maybe she had received a little of God’s Love in this process, maybe it was a combination of all of this, but eventually she surrendered to the Truth quite deeply and I could now feel a big shift had taken place.  She was now ready to see our grandfather who had been present the whole time.  Pa has been in spirit for around fifty years and is now a beautiful Celestial spirit and one of my guides and Kathy was totally taken back by how bright and beautiful he is.  I know that she will be alright now. Pa has walked the journey that she will need to walk, he has let go of the false beliefs that he held onto dearly for such a long time and he understands her struggles.

Even as I write this I can feel the love that was present then and how deeply it affected not only Kathy but me as well and I am very grateful to God for the way His Laws are constructed to ensure that each and every one of His children has the opportunity to learn the Truth and to feel His Love.  This experience showed me how powerful it is when we allow ourselves to surrender fully to the Truth and allow Love in.

Thank you Dave and Alexis, I will always be grateful for the gift that you gave so freely and thank you Kathy for teaching me the power of Love and Truth and Surrender.  May God continue to bless and support you all on your journeys towards Love and Truth.

With much love

Linda

20.03.12

The Prayer for Divine Love

A while back I posted a prayer that I wrote to God which was based upon the Prayer for Divine Love or the original Our Father.  Some time later it occurred to me that some of you may not have read the original prayer so I have posted it here for you.  The bits in italics are the bits that I add for my own personal version of the prayer.  It helps me to continue to strive to really FEEL the truth  in the prayer and mostly acknowledges that most of the time I do not yet fully feel the truth in my soul.  When I add in my own personal touches it helps me to stay in the feelings contained within the prayer and has a greater likelihood of reaching the Father on a soul to Soul basis.  Feel free to personalize the prayer for your own use and direct it to either our Father or Mother God as your soul needs.

I hope it helps you also have a deeper connection with God in Prayer.

love
Linda


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Our Father, who is in heaven, I recognize that You are all Holy and Loving and Merciful, help me to truly know (and) that I am Your child, and not the subservient, sinful and depraved creature that my false teachers would have me believe.  Help me to know That I am the greatest of Your creation, and the most wonderful of all Your handiworks, and the object of Your great Soul's love and Tenderest care.

Loving Father, I (recognize that) help me to understand that Your will is that I become at one with You, and partake of Your great love which You have bestowed upon me through Your mercy and desire that I (name) become, in truth, Your child; through love, and not through the sacrifice and death of any one of Your creatures.

O loving Father I pray that You will open up my heart and my soul to the inflowing of Your Divine Love and Truth, and that then may come Your Holy Spirit to bring into my soul this, Your Divine Love in great abundance, until my soul shall be transformed into the very essence of Yourself; and I pray that there may come to me faith--such faith as will cause me to realize that I are truly Your child and one with You in very substance, and not in image only.

Merciful God, let me have such faith as will cause me to know that You are my Father, and the bestower of every good and perfect gift, and that only I, myself, can prevent Your love changing me from the mortal to the immortal. Please Father, help me to understand why it is that I would want to prevent Your Love!

Let me never cease to realize that Your Love is waiting for me and for each and all of us, and that when I come to You in faith and earnest aspiration, Your love will never be with-held from me.

Please Father, Keep me in the shadow of Your Love every hour and moment of my life, and help me to overcome all temptations of the flesh, and the influence of the powers of the evil ones, which so constantly surround me and endeavor to turn my thoughts away from You to the pleasures and allurements of this world.

Loving Father, I thank You for Your Love and the privilege of receiving it, (and I believe) help me to know that You are my Father--the loving Father who smiles upon me in my weakness, and is always ready to help me and take me to Your arms of love. 

I pray this with all the earnestness and sincere longings of my soul, and trusting in Your Love, I give You all the glory and honour and love that my finite soul can give.      

Amen                                                                                                                                                                      

http://www.thepadgettmessages.net/v1/prayer3.htm

Reflections on Faith

Recently I have been doing some very difficult processing and it has left me questioning everything about this path - myself, God, God's Laws and my ability to do this work.  I felt I have very little faith and I was reminded of the reflections that I did on Faith some time back.  It was a timely reminder and I have included this here for you.  You might like to do your own reflections on Faith and what that means for you as well.

I have included the links for the couple of messages from the Padgett Messages but I have not been able to find an archived copy of the Judas messages online.  If you would like a copy of the Judas Messages, either in full or just the articles referenced here feel free to email me and I will pass them on.

Faith is such a corner stone of our progress in Love and Truth and I feel that anything that we can do to grow our faith is worthwhile.

I wish you well with your own journey of growing in Love and Truth and Faith.

Love

Linda

Reflections on Faith

Judas – Faith - Jan 11, 2002

“True happiness comes from inside of the soul” – p113

What does this mean for me? 

The times when I am happiest, when life just seems to flow without impediment are the times when I am living in passion and truth, when I am honoring my soul’s desires.  At these times there is a sense of peace and fulfillment, a sense of purpose and belonging and I can feel that I am closer to God at these times. 

The question is, if I now recognize this, why is it that my whole life is I not lived from passion and desire? 

My only recourse is fear!  False expectations appearing real which keep me from being true to myself and to God.  But if I recognize this why then do I not allow myself to move through these fears when I know what the rewards will be and that they will lead me to a life of bliss? 

I can only feel that the answer is unworthiness, a deep unworthiness to receive anything that is good, a false belief that I do not deserve the kind of bliss that I have at times had a glimpse of.  So this tells me that I, as yet, have little faith.

“People who experience God have faith and this faith attracts love”. (p114)

How have I experienced God?

God is life and if I am willing to open my heart and soul God can be experienced everywhere – in the miracle of birth, the gentle roar of the ocean, the unfurling of a flower, the grace of the eagle as he soars effortlessly amidst the invisible thermals, in the poetic warble of a bird or the bliss of a lovers caress. 

God constantly shows me Her love, Her unique personality and yet so often Her presence goes unnoticed and unappreciated.  I have been guilty of that, of dismissing God in every day life.  At times I have been so caught up in day to day grind of this false life that I lead that I took God for granted.  I didn’t stop to notice Her constant presence in my life, Her patience, Her gentleness, Her Love. And it is at these times, when I dismiss God, that life has been the most difficult, the most challenging, as God gently calls me back.  But I do not always listen. Too often I choose to live in my fears rather than surrender to God’s Love.  I loose faith.

“To possess the Love of God does not automatically mean to lose all false beliefs.” – P114

Beware of arrogance, pray for humility

“Faith belongs to the soul, and like the soul, it is part of the Real … Faith is not formulated in words, you have to experience and live it.” – p114

“Faith is the perception of the soul” – p115

Faith is the activation of that innate part of our souls that longs for God’s love, it is acting upon the desire that we have to know and love God and to be known and loved by Him.

“Faith is knowledge and experience of the Real …. You cannot travel along a way sitting in an armchair, waiting for marvels to happen”. p115

In order to grow in faith I must continue to long for and seek God’s love, I must be active in this process.  No one else can do this for me. I alone can uncover the errors in my soul that prevent God’s love from transforming my soul from the mortal into the immortal and when I actively engage in this process faith grows.

“Faith, my dear friend, can open up the door to worlds undreamed of. The power God has conferred on men is enormous. Think about it. “ p115

Why am I afraid to open the door?  What prevents me from allowing the full experience of God’s Love and Majesty? 

Doubt!

Unworthiness!

At times Fear! 

And yet I know that the only way to overcome these doubts and fears and to release my unworthiness is to have faith and to open the door to my soul and step inside. To experience fully each and every one of the errors lurking there and release these to God so that His love might fill my soul and feed my faith which as yet is so little.  

And so I find myself in somewhat of a quandary – in order for my faith to grow I need to step into the deepest, darkest parts of my soul and face the truth of what lies there, and yet I need faith to do this!.  I need to cultivate a faith that lets me know that that in the experience of these errors God is there with me, supporting me, loving me. 

I need to activate that part of my soul which has already experienced God’s love in order to fully trust that this is once more possible. 

I need to activate whatever faith I already have in order for that faith to grow.

Faith continued – Judas – Jan 15 2002

From the Padgett messages - "Faith is that which when possessed in its real and true meaning makes the aspirations and longings of the soul a real, living existence; and one so certain and palpable that no doubt will arise as to its reality." Jesus - p117

It is the activation of faith that allows me o step into my passions and desires.  Faith carries me through times of doubt. Through faith I can harness the great potential of my soul.

“Faith has to do with Truth. It is our perception of Truth, our window into the Real.

….Only one Truth exists, and only God knows it. But the increase in our faith implies that also our perception of Truth deepens and approaches perfection.” P117

“… with the increase of faith, the range of perception of your vision is increased,…

Each soul has once experienced God at its creation, each soul experienced His Loving Kindness … faith does not disappear, it continues, but it needs effort and will to wake up again.” p117

I realize now that my journey over the past couple of years has intensified this process of ‘waking up’ and at times it has taken great effort and will to break through the barriers to love and truth and this process has been made easier or perhaps made possible only through faith, through some sort of ‘remembering’ God’s loving kindness and in a faith that God will once again bestow His love upon me.

“The difficult part is to start this process, but it is not a process which continues automatically. It requires our effort. But exactly at that moment when prayer stops being an obligation and becomes a desire, a wonderful experience, a moment of peace and happiness, at that moment the soul has won the battle.

Active faith is the continuous, renovated and enlarged experience. Faith is as sweet as honey, it is peace and happiness, and it awakes longings for more, longings of the soul, longings to be under God’s protection, at-one with Him, and partaker of His Love. And His Love comes, changing the very substance of our soul little by little, changing the quality and the range of our perceptions, and expanding our faith.” P117-8

 “…with the increase in our faith, also our understanding increases.” P118

Judas – the Faith of Little children – Jan 22 2002

“Children conceive God to be their Heavenly Father, filled with Love, who always reaches out to them His Hand of support and protection….The image of God disappears with the childlike faith …. That faith which we call childlike, but which is true faith, suffers through our process of maturation that actually is a process of estrangement and alienation, where concepts become supposed realities, where we learn how to open our eyes without seeing. …. The child’s faith wastes away, becoming the embryo of what it once used to be, waiting for the warmth of love to grow again. And it is the Father's Love that incubates it.” P123

For me faith is learning to open my eyes to once more see what the child in me knows.  It is trusting that when I take the steps necessary to activate that part of my soul which has laid dormant for so long that God will once again embrace my soul and I will melt into that embrace knowing that I have finally come home.

Judas – Faith, knowledge, understanding and trust.  Jan 30 2002

“Faith means knowledge, inner knowledge. It is our share of God’s holistic vision. It is a quick, partial glance, that is true, but it is a glance at what really is…. If you have faith in God and in His Love, it does not mean that you understand God or His Love” p128

The possibility of ever understanding God or His Love seems such a remote concept to me in this moment where my doubts and fears often plague me, but I have faith that one day this might be possible.  One day, if I continue to activate my faith and exercise my desires to grow in love and truth, maybe then I will begin to get a glimpse of who God really is and of the beauty and immense power of Her Love.  I have faith that this is possible … one day!

“There is another factor to this process: the soul longings. They are necessary to obtain our Heavenly Father's Love, and they are born of faith…. In moments of despair, the soul longings break through and soar high to God. And God sends His answer, He sends His Love.” p128

Why is it that our longings for God’s love and understanding are strongest when we despair?  How much do we deprive ourselves of God’s love by not recognizing His loving hand in every aspect of our lives, by not turning to Him in times of joy as well as in despair?

“Faith is knowledge, but not only knowledge of God and the universe, but also of ourselves, about our condition. … Faith teaches us our current condition, and it teaches us how we could or should be. Faith creates humility. …However, in order to receive God’s Love, our soul needs some preparation. It needs to open up. But how does it open up? It is hope, which achieves the opening up….Hope is a human attribute, and like all human things, it constantly changes. It grows as faith becomes stronger, until it finally acquires the character of certainty. Then we call it trust. True faith and trust walk hand in hand.” P 128-9

Hope inspires faith and as faith grows it becomes trust. 

I wish I could say that I have reached that point in my progression where I trust God completely, but I have not yet and I often find myself struggling through the process of releasing the errors within me because I do not trust God fully.  But I hope, and I have faith that one day, as I continue to embrace my errors and release them, that faith and hope will become trust.  At this point I know that progression will then become easier because when I reach this point of trusting God fully I will no longer fight the process.  I will embrace it knowing that it is through this journey of discovery and of repentance that I will grow in love and an understanding of truth that will one day allow me to kiss the face of God as I rest securely in Her loving embrace, cradled forever from the shame, pain and grief that now wrack my soul. 

At this point I will be happy to let go of all of my masks and will no longer desire to hide. 

I will be free!

Padgett Messages – Jesus – Oct 10 1915

http://www.thepadgettmessages.net/v1/jesus42.htm

“Faith is that which when possessed in its real and true meaning makes the aspirations and longings of the soul a real, living experience; and one so certain and palpable that no doubt will arise to its reality….. This faith is not the belief that arises from the mere operation of the mind, but which comes from the opening of the perceptions of the soul, and which enable its possessor to see God in all of His beauty and love …. Such faith comes only from the constant, earnest prayer and the reception into the soul of the Divine Love.” p225

Faith grows through prayer and is activated by the expression of the aspirations, passions and longings of my soul.   

Some part of me knows this. 

I have at times experienced the bliss of a deeper connection with God when I have had the courage to simply live in my passions and desires. And yet, too often I fall into the trap of believing the false expectations that I have. I allow myself to be distracted from my soul longings and aspirations and in so doing I allow myself to be lead away from God. I loose faith. I revert to the old ingrained habits of living in the mind and of trying to please others rather than allowing myself to live in passion and desire and to open more fully to the perceptions of my soul which enable me to see God more fully. 

I forget to pray and as a result I loose faith.

“… faith is a progressive quality or essence of the soul and increases as possession of the divine Love increases and is not dependant on anything else.  Our prayers call from the Father a response that brings with it faith and with this faith comes a knowledge of the existence of this love in our souls.” P 224

Faith grows through prayer and the opening of the soul to the inflowing of the Divine Love. It is the presence of this Great Love in my soul that allows me to have faith in God and in all that is Loving and Truthful; it allows me to have faith in myself.  When I allow myself to open my soul fully to God’s Love and Truth my faith grows.  But what happens when I feel love creeping in, when I find myself doubting God’s Love for me? At these times I have little faith.

Through faith I live confidently in my passions and desires knowing that God is watching over me and confident that my life is unfolding according to God’s grand plan.  A life lived in faith is a grand adventure.  I feel this to be true and yet I still do not allow myself to live a life based on faith, a life directed by passion, desires and my true soul longings.  Why is this? 

Will I ever find the courage to live the kind of life that God desires me to live? The kind of life that my own soul craves? How do I get to this point?  For now all I can do is pray – pray for faith and for the courage to let go of the errors that prevent me from moving towards a life of bliss, a life guided by God and for the inflowing of God’s Great Love which will eventually transform me into a true child of God.

“…. When we pray to the Father to increase our faith it is a prayer for the increase of love.  Faith is based on the possession of this love and without it there can be no faith because it is impossible for the soul to exercise its function when love is absent from it. …. Faith is not a thing that can be obtained by a mere exercise of the mind but has to be sought for with the soul perceptions and when obtained will be enjoyed only by the soul perceptions” p226

Padgett Messages – Jesus – Nov 10 1916

http://www.thepadgettmessages.net/v1/divinelove31.htm

“As the prayers of the sincere earnest soul ascend to the Father, that soul becomes opened up to the inflowing of this Love. … The more earnest the prayer and sincere the longings, the sooner faith comes and with this faith the realization that the Divine Love is permeating the soul.” P427

So faith and love go hand in hand, there can not be one without the other.  As I grow in love so too will my I grow in faith.